


Ten Alternate Universes: Agnes Nitt

by DaibhidC



Category: Discworld - Terry Pratchett, Rivers of London - Ben Aaronovitch
Genre: Alternate Universe - Always a Different Sex, Alternate Universe - Cyberpunk, Alternate Universe - High School, Alternate Universe - Pirate, Alternate Universe - Police, Alternate Universe - Shapeshifters, Alternate Universe - Space, Alternate Universe - Steampunk, Alternate Universe - Urban Fantasy, Alternate Universe - Western, Ficlet Collection, Prompt Fic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-05-08
Updated: 2016-05-08
Packaged: 2018-06-07 04:04:48
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 962
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6784441
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/DaibhidC/pseuds/DaibhidC
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The challenge: "Give me a character/pairing and I will write snippets of ten different alternate universes for it."</p>
<p>The universes: Wild West, Cyberpunk, Shapeshifters, Pirates, ...In SPACE!!, Born Another Gender, Schoolfic, Police/Firefighters, Urban Fantasy, Steampunk</p>
<p>The character: Agnes Nitt</p>
            </blockquote>





	Ten Alternate Universes: Agnes Nitt

**Author's Note:**

  * For [JohnAmendAll](https://archiveofourown.org/users/JohnAmendAll/gifts).



** Wild West **  
  
Things were tense at the Last Drum Saloon. Two men had gotten into an argument over a poker game, and were now reaching for their guns. Other patrons were scattering for cover. Oddly, while the pianist had abandoned his post, the singer remained on stage.   
  
Before either man could fire, a high pitched noise drilled into both their brains and knocked them unconscious.   
  
Deputy André, who’d been on the point of getting between the disputants, instead wandered over to the saloon’s stage. “I’ll never get used to that trick, Agnes,” he murmured, “What do you call it, higher C?”   
  
The singer, who apparently hadn’t skipped a note in her rendition of “Octarine River Valley”, just smiled.   
  
  
** Cyberpunk **  
  
The worst part of having to return to the street surgeons at W-wax + Ogg, after leaving to join Bucket Holotainment (a wholly owned subsidiary of Bucket Synthispreads), was listening to the “I told you so”s.   
  
“Never trust a megacorp,” Esme said, “An experimental implant that gives you a perfect singing voice? ’Course there was a catch.”   
  
“Okay, okay,” said Agnes, “But can you get the PERDITA chip out of my brain before it takes over again?”   
  
  
** Shapeshifters **  
  
The coven meeting had been going for ten minutes before the final member showed up.   
  
“Sorry I’m late,” said Agnes, still adjusting her clothing, including the Black Ribbon she’d worn ever since her final encounter with Vlad de Magpyr.   
  
“Usual problem?” Nanny asked.   
  
“Yes. The bats controlled by Perdita insist that they know the way better than the rest do, and keep going off on their own.”   
  
  
** Pirates **  
  
Agnes and her friends had been talking in the tavern about the dashing masked pirate known only as the Ghost. She certainly hadn’t been expecting to get abducted by him the very next day.   
  
_ And why would you? _ Perdita asked, _The only explanation is that he mistook us for Christine. And the only explanation for_ that _ is that his mask doesn’t have eyeholes. _  
  
Agnes sighed. Still, she and Perdita were in agreement on one thing. However romantic her other half might have found being abducted by pirates _in theory_ , they were both clear that the next time the cabin door opened, someone was getting a chair to the head.   
  
  
** ...In SPACE!! **  
  
“I still don’t understand how you escaped,” said Magrat, when they rendezvoused on the planet’s surface. “Not with four Magpie-class fighters heading straight towards you.”   
  
“Simple hypersonics. Sent it straight through the ship’s emitter dish, and it knocked out all their engines.”   
  
Magrat looked puzzled. “But in space, no-one can…”   
  
“They can when _I_ do it,” said Agnes firmly.   
  
  
** Born Another Gender **  
  
Perdito di Sogno, born Arthur Nitt, was widely regarded as the finest tenor, baritone _and_ bass the Ankh-Morpork Opera House ever produced, particularly acclaimed for the title role of _Il Truccatore_. Nevertheless, he sometimes wondered if there was something missing from his life. Usually when he attended banquets at Unseen University, but even more strongly on the rare occasions when a broomstick flew overhead.    
  
  
** Schoolfic **  
  
The parts for the Lancre Comprehensive production of _My Fair Lady_ had been posted on the noticeboard. They were proving somewhat controversial.   
  
“Mrs Pearce?” said Agnes, “The housekeeper? I didn’t even _audition_ to play Mrs Pearce!”   
  
“No-one did,” explained André, who as head of the school drama group had been involved in the auditions. “So Mr Salzella chose you as ‘most suited to the role’. It’s totally unfair, I know. You did a fantastic audition as Eliza.”   
  
“But she doesn’t really _look_ like Eliza, does she?” said Christine, who had of course got the part, and seemed completely unaware that her comment was in any way tactless.   
  
André glared at Christine, who didn’t notice, and then turned back to Agnes. “If I were you, I wouldn’t take it. You deserve to be Eliza, whatever Salzella thinks.”   
  
Agnes shrugged. “Anything’s better than spending lunch hour with Lucy Tockley and her mates.”   
  
  
** Police/Firefighters **  
  
“Another new recruit?” Vimes asked.   
  
“Yes, sir,” said Carrot, “Cheery said they needed more medical expertise in the forensics team, and I also thought we could use someone with magical experience.”   
  
“So _two_ new recruits. A doctor _and_ a wizard.”   
  
“No, sir. One new recruit. Lance-Constable Agnes Nitt. She’s a witch.”   
  
Vimes thought about that for a moment. “Well, she’ll probably be more practical than a wizard or even a doctor. They’ve got a lot of common sense, witches. Too much to become a copper, I’d have thought.”   
  
“Well, sir, I get the impression she’s rather sweet on young André. From the Cable Street Particulars?”   
  
“Fine, as long as it doesn’t get in the way of the job.”   
  
  
** Urban Fantasy **  
  
The chaos Mr Punch unleashed in Covent Garden was horrific. But it could have been worse.   
  
Much later Peter Grant would learn that a young singer in the opera company had somehow shielded the people near her with the power of her voice. He filed that under “Things to look into when there isn’t a crisis”, and of course never got round to it.   
  
  
** Steampunk **  
  
“You have to choose,” Professor Weatherwax had always said. “You can be the star of the Paris Opera, or you can study the etheric sciences. You can’t do both.”   
  
Well, the machine Agnes had built would show her. It would show them all! She stepped into the glass booth, and her assistant, who had grave doubts about this, reluctantly pulled the knife-switch. Green and purple lightning sparked around the booth, and its duplicate on the other side of the machine.   
  
Agnes stepped out of the booth. And also stepped out of the other booth.   
  
“Success!” the first Agnes laughed. “Now I can remain at the opera, while you continue my studies for me!”   
  
“I think that’s something we should negotiate,” said Perdita.


End file.
